Aina Nadia

"I have died everyday , waiting for you . Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years . I love you for a thousand more"

Christina Perri - Thousand Year 

Okay so , this is gonna be awkward . . . . and more to emotional . You've been warned . I am about to write lots of crap which I knew if I told my mates they would be annoyed . So the best way to express my feeling is by writing . Not really in the mood to turn the story into a literature thingy so am gonna blog it normally like a normal blogger . . . . if that even makes sense . .  .

Yes you, ass with the hole

So , 2012 . 6 years have passed by just like that . Gone . My 6 years of waiting were just like *throw a crumpled paper in a bin* . Yeah just like that . Dear MIA , I know you knew that I will be here waiting for you patiently . Waiting for some sort of miracle that you will actually change to the person that you once promised to me . To tell you the truth , am still waiting . Another truth is , my patience is slowly wearing out . I don't really know what I am waiting for actually . I am holding onto nothing cause you give me no reasons at all . Which is kinda stupid of me to still wait for you .

All this time , I felt like you look at me as the desperate one . The one who you can play with whenever you like and throw me away when the new one comes around . Once you get bored with the new one you'll come crawling back to me begging me to take you back . Like bro , not cool . . . at all .

Am not some kind of game that you can play around . In case you don't know , I do have a feeling . I do get hurt easily .  Believe me when I say that my tears are cheap that they often comes around whether I like it or not .

Like no kidding . 

Am feeling so dumb . Like you were obviously fooling me . But yet , I kept falling hard everytime . Everyfreakingtime . But growing up made me think a lot . A much more mature thinking .

I love you . No doubt . But I am tired of being that girl that has always hoping for the best for you and her . Penat tau tak .

Kept thinking , why are you so hard to resist? Then I realised , you were my first guy . My first love . My first boyfriend . My first to everything when it comes to the term of a boy and a girl being together .

It hurts badly whenever you came around today saying all those romantic and 'oh-so-cair' words to me , giving me new hopes and the next day , you were in a relationship with another girl . WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!

You don't have to keep giving me those mix signals if you really don't have that kind of attraction towards me . I know , im not your type . . . . . at all . I am far behind from what you love in a girl .

But don't you realised , from all of your exes , I was there when you needed me . Don't mean to brag or anything but I was the one who stays with you and don't really judge you for who you are . for 6 years long I was there and kept giving the chances that you begged for . Even when I knew it was just a waste giving you the same chances everytime knowing that you are gonna messed up each time , and I will end up heartbroken once again .

Now , i am done with your game . Somehow , I know that , it is now or never . I've done waiting . I've done hoping . and I am done loving you . 

Game Over . Guess what , you won . I let you win . The prize? You lose me . I won't be there anymore . I won't give out chances anymore .

The only downside of doing this is that I cant stalk you anymore . Other than that? Im fine

Remove from facebook? √√√

Remove from contact? √√√

Remove from gallery? √√√

Remove from heart? . . . . . . . still working on it

I know , I might regret this later . But am no longer care . I got Meni that will always support me thru this . Dear Meni , if you're reading this , PLEASE , SLAP ME WITH YOUR WORDS WHENEVER I TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN. 

Hati kadang kadang boleh berubah . Harini benci , esok mula rindu , lusa kembali sayang . Itu tak mustahil . Aku sendiri tak nafi . Tapi kalau aku tak ubah perasaan dalam hati nie sekarang , bila lagi? Masih banyak lagi topi di pasaraya . Masih banyak lagi sardin dalam tin di luar sana . 

Aku taknak sebab terlampau mengharapkan dekat makeluk ni , aku tutup hati untuk yang lain . *Sorry ye awak , awak dan awak . Kalian tau siapa kalian *

I want to experience other kind of love . Maybe not in the nearest time . Maybe , I'll share the love with my future prince charming , my future 'the one' , AKA my future legal husband . Legal as in Islam and the law .

Bercinta selepas kahwin? Sounds pretty romantic right? . Haha . 

Macam yang Meni kata "kita fokus nak study dan nak bejaya dulu" . Tch , betul . 

Duhai hati , berhenti khianati aku dan marilah kita bersama-sama harungi benda ni .